Life is slowly getting back to some kind of normal, if there is such a thing. It a bit more difficult than ususal to listen to the woes of others in this state. I am very greatful for the 12 steps and a gratitude list. It keeps me thankful that Gizmo is here with me alive and trying to dig a hole in the bed to hide a nylabone and a kong bone. He has a new name these days....fatty mcgriff....he eats twice a day and knows where all the treats are. He is not gaining weight I dont think, possible denial, he has to go for walks 2x/day.
I saw the house yesterday. Still dying inside, and it smells weird. 60 days ago it was home and things were well. The plants in the flower bed are coming up and the rosemary, lavender, oregano, are doing very well given the state of affairs around them. Oddly! The blueberry bush is struggling but alive and the peach tree has two tiny fruits. Amazingly the huge trees in the backyard were uprooted, the entire fence went down and the peach tree looks untouched. Now that the backyard is clean, it looks much better. I forget to take pictures because I guess going over there takes more out of me than I thought. I will post pics of the peach tree later in the week.
I spoke with the insurance rep and if I get a replacement loan/house, they will pay off the loan as long as the new place is more than the loan. Seems the direction I will go. Its more work to rebuild and Im tired.
Thank you all for hanging in there with me and sending your thoughts and prayers.